I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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