so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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