we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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