when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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