So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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