Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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