Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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