smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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