we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize