Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
