I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
