who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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