when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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