we're blogging at a bar
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
