i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
