If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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