Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
