I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
