sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
