At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
