Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
