I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
