I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
