"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
