WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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