Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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