Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
jump out the window naked night went bad
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