ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
