No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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