My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
