I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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