one two three fourrrrnication!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
