Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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