she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
