I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
