i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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