Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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