I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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