Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize