also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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