My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
