whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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