I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
