she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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