We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
and you fell through a lawn chair
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