we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
