it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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