what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
