yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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