you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love you. Go after that dick
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
