apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
vagina is talking i cant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
