I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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