Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
