I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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