I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
