shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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