i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
