I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
