I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
her vagine was all disorganized.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
