Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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