I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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