I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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